


Dunce Cap

by Anonymous



Category: Helluva Boss (Web Series)
Genre: F/M, Not Beta Read, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, there's a lot going on here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 12:08:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28760076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: The blinds were shut once again, as they always are when meeting up with a client. Only small streams of light managed to break through, casting ribbons of white across the furniture and the two figures within the office. It was still early in the morning, but Mayberry was the only client scheduled for that day, and she paid in advance so Blitzo didn’t really mind. It helped that she’d already contracted them before. He doubted she’d waste much time, though he did have to wonder who else she wanted them to off, considering the fact that she hadn’t been the type to make a whole lot of enemies in life.
Relationships: Blitzo/Mrs. Mayberry
Kudos: 11
Collections: Fanfic Anonymous





	Dunce Cap

**Author's Note:**

> This ship isn't that interesting to me but I feel like they'd have really hot sex. Behold, I guess. The horniest thing I've written to date.

Mayberry sat across from Blitzo with her arms and legs crossed, an uneasy look cracked upon her face.

The blinds were shut once again, as they always are when meeting up with a client. Only small streams of light managed to break through, casting ribbons of white across the furniture and the two figures within the office. It was still early in the morning, but Mayberry was the only client scheduled for that day, and she paid in advance so Blitzo didn’t really mind. It helped that she’d already contracted them before. He doubted she’d waste much time, though he did have to wonder who else she wanted them to off, considering the fact that she hadn’t been the type to make a whole lot of enemies in life.

Mayberry shifted her legs and pressed her arms closer to her chest as if she was close to bursting out of her skin. She glanced back to the door once, as if to make sure it was locked. Blitzo watched.

“Let me guess,” he said. “That bitch we knocked is here now and after your tight ass, that it? We don’t offer bodyguarding services. You’re somebody else’s problem now.” He leaned back in his chair.

“What?” Mayberry looked confused for a moment before rolling her eyes and shaking her head. “No. I have another kind of… job, I guess.”

She uncrossed her arms and lowered them to her sides. Blitzo caught the slight movement of her upper arms pressing inward, pushing her breasts forward.

Hey, he knew eye candy when he saw it. When she wasn’t frighteningly angry, it was easier to appreciate her figure.

She uncrossed her legs but kept her thighs close together, shifting in the chair. Blitzo looked away to avoid staring. Shit, she was doing this on purpose, wasn’t she?

“I do appreciate the job y’all did on that whore, though,” Mayberry says, lifting a hand to rub at the back of her neck. “Was wondering what else you’re good at.”

“I mean, I’d say killing is my strongest suit, but--” Blitzo briefly considered the panic buttons under his desk, but he was growing _curious_ , for lack of a better word. “--yeah, I’m pretty good at other shit too.”

“Glad to hear it.” Blitzo heard the sound of a zipper being teased downwards. He swallowed and cleared his throat.

“You know, lady, there’s plenty of walkin’ dicks out on the street who do this for a living.”

“I know.” Mayberry locked eyes with him. “I’m not interested in them. I wanna see what you can do for me.”

Blitzo watched as her sweater fell from her skin like water, throat and glistening shoulders emerging first before revealing a lacy black bra. Heat rose to his stomach as her soft belly exposed itself to the air. The tension in the room thickened to the point where Blitzo felt like he was sitting in a bowl of soup.

“Well?” Mayberry asked. “You gonna undress, or just sit there like a dunce?”

Right, Blitzo noted as he began to remove his jacket. His most frequent sexual partner as of late had a habit of ripping his clothes off as soon as he stepped into the bedroom each month. It felt almost foreign to be doing it apart from another body now.

Mayberry hadn’t stripped herself of her skirt yet and was instead rubbing circles between her legs with two fingers, reaching up to fondle one breast through the fabric of her bra, biting her lip. Blood shot straight to Blitzo’s cock and he started to work faster at his pants, unfastening his belt to give himself some room to breathe.

Mayberry almost seemed to laugh at his haste and Blitzo’s breath hitched in his throat.

“If I’m fucking it up, why don’t you come over and do it yourself?” he asked, managing to kick off his boots and pull off his pants. With that, his cock sprang free, erect and sweating with anticipation.

Mayberry cocked her head and stood up, sauntering over with clear confidence. She staddled one of Blitzo’s legs as he slipped off his gloves and traced the shape of one of his pecs against his shirt. He could feel her wetness through thin fabric on his thigh.

“Looks like you figured it out yourself,” she replied, slipping her hand underneath his shirt to feel against his skin. He pulled it off and she grabbed one of his hands after he was fully naked, pressing it to one of her breasts.

“I’ll keep mine on for a bit, if you don’t mind,” Mayberry said.

Not the top of Blitzo’s kink list, but he certainly wasn’t averse. He rubbed at her tit, feeling her hard nipple meet his fingers beneath the lace, as Mayberry began to grind on his thigh. She let out small moans as she rubbed against him and Blitzo felt something coil in his abdomen. His dick was hurting for some touch, but before he could reach down and begin to take care of it himself, Mayberry’s hand snaked its way over. Her fingers ghosted the length of his shaft and he bit his lip.

Mayberry’s fingers were already slick when they finally wrapped around him and the thought of where they’d already been made him _twitch_ , but she only pumped a few times before changing course and moving to straddle his lap fully. She guided the tip of his cock to her cunt and brushed the head against the fabric over her slick entrance a few times. He dug the nails of his free hand into the arm of his chair as Mayberry pressed herself against (but not onto) him.

Blitzo breathed. “We gonna fuck through your--?”

Mayberry shook her head. “You gotta learn a bit of patience,” she remarked, guiding his hands towards her ass. Instead of having him grab, she led his fingers to her inner thigh and had him tease off her panties. They were positively drenched as they hit the floor.

“Patience is for suckers.” Blitzo began to work his way underneath her bra. She gasped as he gave her nipple a gentle pinch and a sense of pride filled his chest before quickly working its way down to the base of his cock.

“ _God,_ ” she moaned, her grip on Blitzo’s hand tightening. “Unhook my bra. Now.”

Blitzo complied and the lace was tossed to the tile below, unveiling a pretty pair of tits with dark, excited nipples that bounced as she moved.

“You gonna put those in my face, or what?” Blitzo asked. Mayberry smirked.

“Try lower,” she said, pushing off Blitzo’s lap and kneeling in front of him. She thumbed over the head of his cock as she stationed herself between his legs, tongue darting out for only a moment to give him a small lick.

Mayberry cupped her breasts in her hands and pressed them around the base of Blitzo’s dick. She began to grind her tits up and down against his shaft, now thoroughly slicked with precum, and Blitzo sighed a series of tiny gasps and moans as his cock began to throb.

“Haven’t done this in a long while,” Mayberry mentioned. Blitzo forgot his planned reply as soon as she reached to lick his head once again, more slowly this time, allowing the tip of her tongue to glide across his length. “Glad it’s with someone big enough to really wrap my tits around.”

“You don’t seem out of practice to me,” Blitzo remarked between deepening breaths. Mayberry hummed and arched her back as she worked, lean muscle pulled across the smooth curve of her spine, skin beginning to sparkle with beads of sweat. Her face was flushed.

“C’mere,” Blitzo grunted, reaching to pull her up. Unsurprised, she went along with him, straddling herself fully on his lap. He wasn’t inside her yet, but he could tell she was eager to receive him, strands of hair clinging against her face as the room temperature seemed only to increase.

“You better make me forget my own name,” Mayberry said, leaning back onto the surface of Blitzo’s desk. The space between her tits was wet and her belly trembled with each breath she took.

“Deal.”

Blitzo squeezed her thighs and stood up, pushing her further onto his desk until only the small of her back and below hung off the edge. She stretched her arms above her head, lying supine, head tilted back and her throat exposed. Blitzo pulled her skirt off in a swift motion and slipped inside of her, the warmth of her cunt enveloping him fully as her walls tightened around him.

“Yes _,_ ” Mayberry gasped as Blitzo began to thrust, slower at first, quickly becoming harder and faster. She wriggled around for a moment before Blitzo caught onto her movements and latched onto her hips, angling himself to better hit her sweet spot.

“Fuck!” she cried, biting into the skin of her forearm. “That’s _it._ ”

“Not bad, huh?” Blitzo said, feeling his own pressure grow with every noise she made. Wouldn’t be long now.

“Not bad at all,” Mayberry said, “but give me a sec.”

“Huh?” Blitzo paused.

Mayberry held herself steady against the desk, propping her hands against the edge of the desk as she adjusted herself, crossing her thighs against Blitzo’s half-out cock.

“Okay,” she said. “Go.”

The upper halves of Mayberry’s inner thighs were already slicked with her own wetness, so thrusting was no challenge, but the feel of her thighs against his length was another matter entirely. Blitzo felt like he was on fire as he pounded against her insides. From the looks of it, she wasn’t far behind at all.

“I’m--” she hissed against her teeth with each movement, her thighs beginning to shake weakly where they wrapped around Blitzo’s shaft. “Shit, I’m gonna--”

Blitzo stopped and things were silent for a brief moment, save for the way they both gasped for air. Mayberry looked down the length of her torso at him, perplexed.

“Why did you stop?” she asked, struggling to catch her breath. “Keep going.”

“Weren’t you preaching about patience a little while ago?” Blitzo grinned. “I’m just giving us some time to soak it all in.”

Mayberry’s brow creased. Her whole body seemed to whine for more.

“Please,” she said. Her shaking continued. “I want you to finish me off.”

Blitzo sighed and pulled out of her completely, to her dismay.

“Alright,” he said, climbing onto the desk. He hooked her thighs over his knees and pinned her wrists to the table. Her eyes glistened with anticipation as she realized what was happening.

“I told you,” he said. “Patience is a waste of time.”

He pushed his weeping tip back inside and she seized around him as he slid in, as if she’d suddenly become tighter than ever. He leaned down and licked across her perked nipples, eliciting a loud moan from Mayberry, who closed her eyes as Blitzo resumed.

Her fingers spasmed as they laid on the surface of the desk, seeking something to hold onto as her cunt embraced him. Blitzo felt his tail curl into loops as the need to cum filled his gut.

“Oh my _god!_ ” Mayberry finally threw her head back with a cry, pushing her lower half closer to Blitzo’s pelvis, and he felt her opening clench against his dick as she finished. Her heavy panting spurred him onward.

It wasn’t long before the dam finally released and Blitzo came inside of her with a moan of his own.

He pulled out without a word. He grimaced internally at the sticky mess that dripped onto the desk, but mostly, he was tired.

Mayberry sat up, more than a little wobbly after being pinned against the hard surface for several minutes. Her cheeks were brightly flushed and her glasses were askew, her headband crooked.

“Christ,” she said, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose. “I needed that.”

“I could tell,” Blitzo said, pulling a pack of cigarettes from the desk drawer. Mayberry swiped one and hung it from her mouth, leaning forward expectantly. Blitzo went ahead and lit it for her.

They smoked in silence for a few minutes, Mayberry sitting naked on the desk and Blitzo in his chair. The clock hit eleven and Blitzo decided he should probably start cleaning up.

He gestured for Mayberry to hop off the desk and she did so, picking up her clothes as Blitzo mopped up the leftovers from the desk with some tissues. A few papers had fallen onto the floor, but aside from that, the damage had been minimal.

“Well.” Mayberry zipped up her sweater and flipped her hair. “Thanks for the good time.”

“Mmhm.” Blitzo stuck out his tongue as he scrubbed the last of the cum from the desk’s surface. He’d wipe it down later. “No problem.”

When Mayberry left, she mentioned something about Blitzo ‘having her number, if he ever wanted to do this again’. He didn’t give it much thought.

**Author's Note:**

> "If a guy likes you  
> for your thieghs, legs, and breasts  
> Send his ass to KFC  
> Your a Woman not a value menu"  
> \- Ancient Proverb


End file.
